Temper Tantrum Thursdays

For the past couple-of weeks, I've been having a Thursday-shaped problem, and this is what it looks like:

 

Except, you know, I'm a very tall woman in my thirties, not a seven-year-old boy.

I'm not sure why, but for the past couple of weeks whenever I hit Thursday I've been having an inner temper tantrum with respect to my 100 Days Challenge. It's not just a lack of motivation, it's an anti-motivation.

Lack of Motivation:

 [sigh] "I really don't feel like exercising today..."

vs. 

Anti-Motivation: 

[rips up list of goals and stomps it into the dirt] 

"WHERE ARE ALL THE SNACKS?! BRING THEM TO ME!!! FIVE HOURS OF TV, CHEESE, AND CRACKERS! BRING IT!"

Resentful. That's the word. Resentful that winter won't go away, that I had an unsatisfactory work day, that I keep getting rejected, that the crutch I've always leaned on to comfort me through the boring and the disappointing is dropping everything into a slovenly heap and hiding in food and fantasy the minute I got home. Resentful that my progress is so slow and hard to see day-to-day, both in my weight loss efforts and my publishing efforts.

These temper tantrum Thursdays are a good portion of my lackluster score for weeks 9 and 10.  So you can imagine that I've been approaching today (which is a Thursday, for those of you who might be reading this entry six months from now and don't care to cross-reference a calendar), with no small amount of respect and trepidation.

Fortunately, the waters seem calm for now.

Part of the extremity of temper tantrum Thursdays has been due to cabin fever, with the cold temperatures being every bit as stubborn as the boy in that picture up there. Part of it has been my boredom with the routine and the pressure of the challenge obligations wearing me down (yes, they're self-imposed, but that's what makes them so pressury!). The end is starting to come into focus but it's still four weeks away. I just want to be done! I want my reward day of cares to the wind!

The most important thing, when the challenge is over, is not to let FREEEEDOM!!!! celebrations spiral into exactly the same habits I had four months ago.

We will be tackling that bridge the instant the challenge is over.

Er... plus one week. ;-)